September 20, 2023

Why Porn Is Your Teenage Son’s Toughest Challenge

By the end of this post, my goal is for you to have a clear understanding of what your son is up against and why telling him to “just stop doing it” will never work.

93% of teenage boys have been exposed to porn at some point in their lives. If you have a teenager, chances are they’ve not only been exposed to pornography but they may also be battling with an addiction to it right now.

I promise that this post won’t be all doom and gloom but I wanted to take a moment to express the real challenges that your son is facing on a daily basis.

See, porn is different than any other neuro-stimulant dopamine-altering drug because it integrates deeply with our sexual system which, as teenagers during a time when testosterone is at its highest, makes it nearly impossible to escape.

The real reason why pornography will be your son’s toughest challenge for rest of his life boils down to three simple factors: constant exposure, social brainwashing, and the fact that addictions grow.

These factors make quitting a porn addiction nearly impossible without some serious help.

Let’s break them down real quick.

Constant Exposure

Think of porn as a highway with on-ramps everywhere. A porn addiction isn’t just when your son is sitting in his room on his favorite porn site, the temptation (on-ramp) is constantly happening all around your son.

It’s when he’s at school with attractive girls dressed in clothes that show a ton of skin. It’s when he’s in the car with you and you drive by the Hooter’s billboard. It’s when he’s on Facebook or Snapchat and his friends are posting pictures of themselves in bikinis. It’s when he’s at home for family movie night and there’s an intimate scene between the characters.

And don’t even get me started with TikTok or YouTube. The algorithms are literally designed to push the user towards more and more pornographic material, especially as a man. I’m guessing they are WELL AWARE of how addictive it is so they use that as bait to keep your son hooked so they can make more money off of his precious little eyes.

The threat of constant exposure is that the temptation to look for “more” is always lurking. Imagine if you were trying to fast from eating for a day but everyone you knew and everyone you interacted with was offering you a thanksgiving-style plate of food. How long would you last?

Social Brainwashing

In my opinion, social brainwashing is the deadliest but least-talked-about cause of porn addictions.

What do you mean by social brainwashing? Glad you asked.

As humans, we live in a society that constantly promotes the idea that getting the girl, having sex and orgasming is the most important thing in our lives.

I want you to stop and just think about that for a second.

Even if you’re a family that goes to church and believes in God, your son is only at that building for two hours each week. The other 168 hours, he’s being blasted with messages urging him to take action so he can have an orgasm. Again, think of the fasting/thanksgiving metaphor.

While this sounds similar to constant exposure, social brainwashing is more like the cause with constant exposure being the effect.

It would be nice if the social norm became promoting healthy relationships, marriage, and maturity, but this isn't likely to change anytime soon.

Addictions Grow

The last reason that a porn addiction is the toughest challenge your son will face in his life is the simple fact that addictions grow.

And this isn’t hypothetical, this is a scientific fact. Porn addictions thrive because porn stimulates massive amounts of dopamine being released in the brain. But over time the sites and the videos that used to do it for them aren’t enough, they need more.

And while it may have started out with simple clips of two people having sex or girls stripping down to nothing, it can quickly evolve into more extreme versions like two-way video calls, messaging (often with predators), child pornography, and even eventually prostitution.

I have sat in rooms with people who have admitted some wild things they have done because porn just wasn’t enough.

So What's The Good News?

The good news is that your son doesn’t have to suffer with this addiction forever.

Quitting is possible and the process looks different for everyone (especially in their teenage years).

But I want you to know that your son, the polite, nice, sweet, goofy, hard-working kid that you know and love, he’s still in there. There’s just this other little monster living inside of his mind that causes the angry outbreaks and momentary freakouts.

If you’re in a place where you know your son needs help but don’t know what to do about it, schedule a call with me here and we can discuss what your options are for either working 1-on-1 with me or pointing you in the right direction.

I will have another post coming soon where I discuss what you can do to help your child out of their addiction and the information might surprise you!